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Subconscious Decent

by PLANET EPIPHANY

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  • Full Digital Discography

    35
    releases

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Siren, Beyond The Wall, BLACKMOON (remix), WHISPER, GREEN LOTUS, Talking To Gods, Endless Rain, Bijou, and 27 more. , and , .

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1.
Rising 07:50
lyrics
Rising… I’M RISING, I’M RISING, FROM WITHIN I RISE I RISE... DEEP INSIDE, THOUGHTS DENIED FROM WITHIN  I RISE... SOUL FORSAKEN, I AWAKEN, FEEL THE DEMON RISE... SEE YOU FALLING, NOW I'M CALLING, EMBRACING LIES... Someone help me, please, Can’t contain him anymore… Breaking free, he’s me… Help me, he’s free… Help me, he’s free… So cold, he’s whispering his lies In voices too seductive to deny his growing lust of pride And so he rises from the depths of all I have denied Help me, he’s free… Help me… I AM YOU, AND YOU ARE ME... Help me please, I don’t know what to do now Stormy seas, my thoughts are fading too All I want, the strength I gain from you What more, will we be? What more, do you want from me? In mind, I’m weak To all, you wish to say and do Fading mind, Ties that bind, You know, voices grind All you find My, fading mind Twist and wind Dreams are, left behind Forever… Growing so numb… You, rising out of me, feeding on my soul, my plea. Why do you keep taunting me, my mind is broken, leave me be (what do you want?) My head is filled with things to say, my demon speaks, of yesterday (what do you want?) With all the thoughts he lays on me, I’m lost I AM YOU, YOU ARE ME I’ve let demon from his cage, he’s out, he’s free, within me dwelling so much rage, Thoughts of evil poison me, he’s out, to wreak his hate for me so free Oh please, help me… He rose from me so deep inside, he’s born of rage and so much pride, his will He leads me to my darker side, he splits my mind, my mister Hyde, Help me… Help me… I’m so lonely, heart of stone, his voice yeah only, I am so alone Help me, please… Feel him rise… Feel him rising now… Feel him rise… Feel him rising now… Clawing up from darkest mind, fractured by his rage so blind Calling out this darkling soul, split in two no longer whole.
2.
Blackouts 05:39
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Blackouts… So where the hell, am I today? No, its not where I went to bed Its so hard to keep, him at bay, in my head, so he said, I’m dead I can feel him, rising, through my eyes, I despise, lost in lies, he’s breaking ties as he claws to rise He… hides… waiting for, waiting for his time to take over… He’s biding his time yeah, my mind is in supernova… So what the hell am I meant to do to stop this demon in my head He’s stronger now, each day I, take a breath, wait for death yeah, take my meds I feel him now, as he sleeps so deep within, and feeding my soul with so much sin And I know now, it’s a fight, I cannot win, he’s feeding on my mind within I can feel him growing, so all knowing, showing, evil flowing, heart is slowing, strength is going, he awakens when I sleep I have no control while he’s awake, my soul he just forsakes, just wrecking the plans that I make, He’s broken out from in my mind, he feeds on all that’s left behind He lives through me while I’m asleep my mind his playground up for keeps I’m afraid to go to sleep, what will I awake to find? Why won’t he leave me be? He’s just messing with my mind From him I wish to be free? The demon feeding, needing, leading, seeding All the dark thoughts in my mind, His voice is just pushing me over Always there it’s such a bind, His voice is just pushing me over… What do… I do now... Its too late… I… need strength… to be free… Yes, his weakness… is the key… I don’t know the path to… his darkest fears, I must keep searching… through the pain and tears
3.
Amnesiatic Incisions 04:17
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Amnesiatic Incisions… Waking… Sleeping… He’s always there, I just know… Watching… Waiting… Biding time, to plot, as he grows… I woke up this morning, feeling cold and numb HATING... Feel my pain is dawning, stealing thoughts to come WAITING... Feeling stinging, right down my left side, Congealing I CUT... blood from my blade he likes to yeah slide, YOU OUT... Hating me, FOR ME for all I am, ALWAYS Bating me, REPULSING ME with every slam. I HATE YOU... ALL YOU ARE... Waking… Sleeping… Always there, seeing through my eyes, always there… Cutting, my flesh, while I, sleep unknowing MY TIME... Deep and so fresh, smiling, as my blood is flowing COMING... Down my left side, slashing, cuts into my skin, BEWARE... Gashes smile wide, touching, upon my pain within I RISE... What can I do? WITHIN... No control 'TIL YOU'RE... He’s strong now, NO MORE... So strong… I can feel him coming… FEEL ME... Touching on the demon… RISING... Now my flesh is numbing… MY FLESH... So my blood is streaming… MY BLOOD... Now I feel him rising… FEEL ME... Feel his spirit raging… MY RAGE... All I am despising… MY HATE... These thoughts just need caging… FUCK YOU... He’s… so… strong… now… I… RISE... Watching… Waiting… What the hell, can I do to stop him now? Calling… Hating… I’m so lost, I’m sinking fast in deep despair...
4.
Twilight Shadows Bleed 04:30
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Twilight Shadows Bleed… Looking for a way to stop the demon deep inside of me Hiding in the shadows of a dark and broken mind I see yeah Hiding forever… Walking through the mindscapes of my darkest thoughts within my soul Weeping with the mind rapes and the deepest cuts that take their toll Hiding forever… Waiting on hope, dreaming Helping me cope, scheming Waiting for the nightfall to come To shine a light on all that’s numb, God help me now Making me wake, bleeding my crimson flow Blinding my heart, feeding , feedingon my soul Making me weak, in light of all that’s gone before Nothing today, can bind the ties of fractured, of a fractured yeah, mind So… Alone… So… alone… Searching for an answer, that’s impossible to find Til I find the question, to my entropy of mind yeah mind Til I can control the flow of thoughts he likes to grind yeah grind So… Alone…yeah  So… Alone… I… feel him, now yeah… He’s fighting all the way… Twisting me up into a lost, darkened hollow man of rage (he’s calling) Emptied out of all my thoughts in wars he’ll wage Leading me on a path that will, tear my fractured mind apart (I’m falling) Carving up my flesh, breaking my heart Making me face the choices that I’ve never done before no, Making me into something that I’m not Deep down inside, dying Crushing my pride, crying All of this time, I’m lying Still I’m inside, trying Still he lurks there prying Winding me down, lying Cutting me deep, cutting me, oh I’m dying He… Will never stop… With all the thoughts that I abhor (is his way) Killing me yeah so many times, my mind the field of war (I’m dying) For all his sick and twisted games
5.
Fading Into Leaves 06:02
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Fading into Leaves… Leaving thoughts behind now, Thinking things that made me whole (I’m fading) Making all my choices, Pander to my voice’s thoughts (I’m fading) I’m… So… lost... now… Fading into leaves, I’m Lost to Autumn sorrows, calling me (I’m fading) Building bridges in decay of my mind Seeing things, I don’t know Seeking answers that betray all that bind Doing things, make me low I’m grasping thoughts to cling to Memories fade to dust on empty wind (I’m fading) Drowning in my sorrows, Lost dreams of tomorrows, are fading (I’m fading) I’m… lost to all… he takes… from me, he feeds, His needs become so strong… beyond all… I have to spare… I’m losing myself… Can’t help me… beyond help now (I’m fading) I’m not me… I’m lost to all I have… become…
6.
A Strangers Eyes 05:00
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A Stranger’s Eyes… One more day, I pray, please end this agony, I’m… beating my fists, to this mirror in front of me, Shards of broken glass, cause my feet yeah to bleed I’m… losing to myself, I’m so lost… Falling… sleeping… my soul… weeping… Falling… sleeping… my soul… weeping… I see a stranger’s eyes look back behind the glass I’m so lost… with all that’s come to pass Beyond... the thoughts… I hoped that I… would find I’m so lost, just a stranger walking in my mind Falling… sleeping… my soul… weeping… Falling… sleeping… my soul… weeping… Do you have name or are you just a part of me (that is) Coursing through my veins like a poison I can’t see (make me) Question all the things that you try to make me see (in a) Sordid sick illusion in a bid to master me (that you) Bring out all the things inside that I just hate in me (will you) Leave me be myself so I can just be free (but you) Just keep (yeah) on pushing from within and never leave me be (make me) Try to find a way that from you I can just be free Like an angel, falling far from paradise I’m dying… falling… Burn… in flames… my soul, cries out I am dying, the demon wakes and takes his toll Falling…sleeping, my soul, is weeping yeah falling, sleeping, my soul is weeping.
7.
Got To Find The Strength 04:09
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Got to find the Strength… So... Lost to the demon’s pride (got to find the strength) More… much too late to turn the tide (got to find the strength) Got to find the strength inside to dig in deep and so I’ve tried to cast aside, my Mr Hyde, with thoughts denied, his will defied, my eyes are open wide, in the madness that I ride, with illusions that have lied, and the tears I’ve cried in the face of falling pride and my dreams have all (yeah) but died, on a razor edge I glide to a war so deep inside, so I find the strength denied, yet I’m still so petrified, in my deepest thoughts I hide, grasps I can’t abide Soon… the time will come A new day… dawns today… Now I find I draw within, forgive myself for all my sin, before the cleansing can begin, for once I feel that I can win, I’m drowning out the demon’s din, with all the strength I draw within, bringing down this clay footed god of tin… Now… I find I’m feeling pretty sure (got to find the strength) Now… I think I opened up the door (got to find the strength) Marching on to fight my mind, a battle waged to end my bind, Now I feel I have defined, the fractured thoughts that leave me blind, there must be others of my kind, leaving all their thoughts behind, and never leave their woes behind, and live their days blind, Demon’s bleed and never find, they win the wars of heart and mind, thoughts so taut they can’t unwind, and feel the grasp of darkness grind, forever feeling left behind and left to all the demon finds, feeding on corrupted minds, and so they dine… So… I fight for peace of mind within my soul So… I right the wrong I find, try to make me whole Now I’m gaining, thoughts are waning, demon takes its toll Tears are raining, demon feigning, fighting for my soul Now… The demon makes a stand So… its all been left unto fate’s hand.
8.
The War Within 05:37
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The War Within… Head to head, feel me NOW IS THE TIME WHEN I TAKE OVER Making my stand, falling CAN’T WIN, I’M GOING NOWHERE He is so strong, raping my mind, sowing his seed, yeah breaking me Been with me long, demon defined, so he can feed, making me Something so wrong, what will I find, killing my need, (yeah) taking me Singing his song, causing my bind, always I plead, shaking me Bringing me down, fighting his will, Making me frown, I’ve had my fill, Vanquish his voice, I’ve got to be strong Making my choice, been there too long Can’t you see, it’s my soul, never whole, where you’re free The war for my mind Feeling you grasping to hold on, wearing me down Filling my thoughts with your voices Limiting choices Before me, you stand, so, it begins Demon fights, clawing Fighting his will (now), warring Tearing at me, bleeding my soul, breaking my mind, yeah now I fall Bearing to me, eating me whole, making me blind, yes he calls Daring to me, taking its toll, waking my mind, yeah and I fall Wearing to me, feeling the goal, quaking behind, yeah he calls Losing myself, fighting his will, giving it all, so I fall Musing my health, biting to kill, feeling so yeah small, and he calls Choosing myself, having my fill, thoughts that appall, and I fall Losing of self, bending his will, building a wall, yeah so he calls Demon fights, he is enraged Me to win, he must be caged For this war, that must be waged I’m.. I’m so afraid… This price I’ve paid My thoughts just fade away I’m losing myself To this demon inside my head Future unset, before me yeah Nothing is sure in this mindscape war, my mind is so raw, I don’t know what’s in store I fight…
9.
Demon, Be Gone 03:57
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Demon Be Gone… The beast within, bloodshed on my mind And the war begins, leave it all behind Demon… Do I become the thing that I hate most (yeah) just to defeat him Become the monster, just to kill, the beast on a darkened whim Embrace the hate, he draws from deep within, just to defeat him Feeling the darkness creeping, filling me up, til sight becomes dim Demon… How did it come to this? I don’t know Demon… Why did you have to lie? Could have been another way And now we fight 'til one of us falls… On this, my demon night 'til one stands tall Now I become the darkness, reaching in to draw you (yeah) out Feeling so numb, the starkness, creeping in, leave me no doubt So now I come, all out war, grasping thoughts, bleeding you out Striking me dumb, thoughts are raw, demon caught, not fucking about Demon… From dreams so long ago, left behind Do you… Remember me? There was a time we grew as one That time has passed, dream is gone, left behind, the child has grown Fight 'til the last, abandon, in my mind, I’m all alone Now here we stand, face to face, we cry out, all that is known Destiny's hand, fall from grace, lost to doubt, all that is shown Demon… We fight… For heart and mind and soul… Suppressing you, holding out, won’t let go, victory is… MINE...
10.
He's Me 06:32
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He’s Me… My demon is subdued, imbuing me my mind He’s gone back deep within, forever there entwined So now he’s sleeping with the thoughts I left behind… he sleeps… We all have our demons who are ready to break free from deep within Ready to take over in our weakness when the veil is wearing thin Make us see our darker sides of mind and scare us to believe Frighten us with evil thoughts and deeds, they feed us to deceive Say... So long… Demon soul has been so very, very strong A balance has been drawn between the darkness and the light (yeah)  He sleeps (in perfect harmony) he’s given up the fight My war of mind, is over now… Thoughts refined, its over now… I take his words and make them my own to speak I sing his song, a lullaby so soft and meek A gentle voice defines a… melody heart and soul… now I’m whole He sleeps, he weeps, he’s feeling sorrow He hides, inside, with no tomorrow, its so over now He said, he’s dead, its so over now, he’s there, aware, he’s scared, Its so over now he falls, he calls, he crawls Its so over now His mark, so dark, so stark its so over now my strife, my life, my knife, My mind, unkind, defined its so over now he speaks, so weak, so meek, Its so over now Its so over now My war of mind is over Lines are drawn within my mind Borders laid, stockade the thoughts that make me blind The shields are up, the wall is built within the, mind-scaped corners of my head The war is won, the demon bound, I own my soul, my life is found Tick-tock, tick-tock, click clock, take stock, my soul has decayed, beyond the Thump, thump, thump, thump, my heart, does jump, memories just fade beyond all time… …is fleeting… Life goes on and on one knows… Man becomes the sum… total of all the memories he feels… Everything he sees, that’s passed, that makes him think and learn to cope with all the  lies, directs him to the man he’s meant to be He’s me… He’s me…oh He’s me... Man becomes the sum total of all the memories he feels… Everything he sees,  Directs him to the man that he’s supposed to be He’s me… He’s me… He’s me… He’s me…
11.
The Choices That We Make 06:23
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The Choices We Make… In the end… It comes down… To choices made… In this… short… gift… of… life… Bestowed… Cherish it… There are no second chances when you’re struck by demon glances Just hope to see another dawn, when voices rage of inner born Corrupt your thoughts of mind and soul, break you down no longer whole Hold on to the dreams you need, for when the demon comes to feed He rises from the depths within, and poisons you with all your sin Things that shame you, cut you deep, break you down and make you weep, Fill you full of blind despair, to make his stand and hold you there Lost to all you are… Hold on to dreams… you make Salvation…is yours… to take… A world of fools… and hate await, its down to you to choose your fate Oh what… path… will… you… take? The… choices… made… testing… testing who we are If you let the demon define who you are he will Live through you drag your soul down far, If you let his touch behold you (yeah) losing who you are, You’ll fall… Life is like a journey, beset on every side, By demons and temptation that test our strength and pride Do we lose our souls to greed or lust that makes us weak? Or fulfil another’s need and live by what we speak (Yeah) makes… the… man… I’ve lived on both, both sides of the coin, I’ve lived with demons raging in the corners of my mind I’ve lived the war he’s waging for his dominance unkind I’ve felt the hate he feels for me, defied his vengeful wrath I’ve walked between illusions free upon this bitter path I’ve felt the blade upon my skin, as he cuts of my flesh I’ve felt him bleed me deep within, and woke to blood so fresh I’ve felt the weakness in my soul that causes him to rise I’ve touched the darkness as a whole, suppressed the demon’s cries Pushed… down… by… the… thoughts… that… loathe… me… Leave… me… to… my… mind… that… hates… me… I’ve touched upon self-loathing, that creates the demon’s spawn I’ve found myself just roving, in the hate of inner born I’ve watched me making my mistakes, creating him by choice I’ve felt him grow until he wakes, and given him a voice. Falling…oh hear him… calling…oh to me… Crawling from the depths of Hell to stand among the dead in a parody of life, lost to things that make us whole Leave me to my yeah thoughts, There can be… only one… a battle fought… alone… Feels like he belongs… Just need to be strong… To win…

about

In 2009 I wrote this album and was very pleased with it both musically & lyrically. I had an idea at the time to write a story about a man with a dualistic personality disorder where by he was at war with his other personality within his mind until one of them finally managed to become the dominant personality. A story of dark against the light.
This was the first time I had asked another writer to come on board and help write the lyrics. I sung the melodies on to the track with the exact syllable count for the words and sent the music off to Penarth based writer at the time Fritz O'Skennick. Fritz took on board my ideas of the concept and what I wanted from the story and he then only two weeks later sent back to me all the lyrics for the album.
Fritz wrote an incredible set of lyrics which complimented the music perfectly.
All that was left was to record down the vocals which to be fair were my most full on vocals I had done to date. I approached this vocally with a mind of playing the two characters and sung concentrating more on the emotion of the words more so than say the tuning. Given that I can't stand auto tuned vocals on anything and always went by trying to get it as close as I could possibly get it. Luckily I was able to pitch rather well as a vocalist but my style of singing has always been more about playing characters than being a lead singer. To me its just more fun and given that some of my biggest influencers in singing are actual Trey Parker and Matt Stone from Southpark, I just love doing cheesy vocals lines and strange voices within the mixes. Which was my approach from day one of singing on the first record I ever recorded which was my Erasmus Project Voyage. Being as I am not a natural singer in the traditional sense I have always enjoyed layering voices putting on different tones or even accents as I sung harmonies.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this crazy album, its a full on and emotional ride.
my fav song is A strangers eyes. I Think for me that song was really good and I am very proud of the album as a whole.

credits

released July 17, 2009

Mattos Maul - All instruments & Dualistic Vocals - Original story and concept.

Fritz O’Skennick - Lyrics

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Orange Rug Studios UK

Welcome to my page Orange Rug Studios. Been recording music just for fun over the years in my small studio. I am not a professional engineer or anything, I record as a hobby and enjoy writing stuff. I don't have fancy equipment, just a small modest set up to have fun with. Though any purchases are appreciated. Hope you like some of my efforts (demos) from over the years. All the best folks :) ... more

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